Sunday, August 2, 2015


Fear. Worry. Regret. Pain. Sorrow. ... She used to be filled with light and joy. When did she change? It happened far longer than recent events. She just recently began to find a balance. Always, it would come back to this. A darkness in her mind that she can never shake. Her choices, her mistakes. Nothing could prepare her for life's downsides. With no one to talk to but voices in her head. It always goes back to being alone. Is she doing it to herself? Why not be with everyone? Why stay in her room all day doing nothing? Is it laziness, or something deeper?

She wishes not to care anymore, but her heart's too good to stop caring. Problems pile up and everything begins to have some connection to the next. Where did they start? She feels so lost... Trying to hold onto her faith, but it's fading.

Then she realizes. Roads are full of tunnels and mountains. If life is like a road, then there will always be times people have to go through them. No one can really stop in the middle and stay there on a road. Maybe for a moment, but everyone has to move on sometime.

Still... It seems that everytime she encounters one, everything else seems irrelevant and she's just stuck in the moment... Even with realizations like this, she can't seem to find the effort to do something. So the question is back, is it laziness or something else? She wished she knew...